Lies and Truth

Hiiiii its Brittany, I thought I would share some things that God is teaching me lately with this whole cancer situation. My thoughts are first, then the truth that God reminds me of. I was trying to think how to best update our life right now, and where we are at, and this is what I came up with (I have been studying all morning so hopefully it makes sense).

• This is not fair, we should not have to deal with this -  Nope this is not very fair, but life is not very fair.  I sometimes believe the lie that because we are seeking God and trying to live lives that glorify God, that we will have an "easy" life, well that is certainly not the case. In 1 Peter 4:12-13  it says "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you, but rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed". When I read that I am humbly reminded that Jesus promised suffering, and that this is an opportunity for us to grow closer to God. And I read this quote this week and it totally fits..."Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian."

• We have been trying to be such good stewards with our money, and have been saving for PA school and a house someday, and it sucks that now we are using it all on medical bills - This truthfully is one of the hardest parts of this whole thing for me. Anyone who knows Mark and I well, know that we are obsessively frugal. We have saved well and been faithfully tithing, and God has blessed us. Thanks to Dave Ramsey, and awesome parents, we have been taught how to budget and save, and make a dollar stretch. I actually take a lot of pride in this I am discovering. And God is taking (okay hemorrhaging) it all back, and revealing and getting that sin out of my heart. It was never our money anyway, every dollar that we have saved is, and has always been His. We will just live every day faithfully serving Him, and he will provide what we need, when we need it.

• Its so frustrating that all my classmates at PA school are finishing up the semester, and get a break, and I have to keep studying until fall semester- Then I am reminded that my school has been so great working with me, and extending me extra time to make things up I have missed. I am also so thankful for my classmates and how amazing they have been. They have been so helpful and encouraging. I cant even really believe I didn't know these people three months ago. They have recorded lectures, sent me flowers, sent encouraging emails and texts, and collected lecture notes for me. I am truly blessed.

• I am gaining weight like crazy and feel so gross - This is only for a season (hopefully!), and Mark is so encouraging and tells me I am hot.

• I have craaaazy mood swings  - This one too is only for a season (hopefully!), and I have a family that gives me grace and is understanding and forgiving. This has actually been crazy, I literally feel like bursting out crying over everything, and get so mad over the dumbest things (like got furious with Mark for beating me in Mario, or with my mom for accidentally making a noise while I was on the phone), I feel like my capacity for stress is at 1%, which is not very helpful for this situation. Only a season.

• Making decisions about our future and treatments is too big of decisions for us right now - This is a bit overwhelming at times. We have given us great options for treatment, and we should be thankful. God has not deserted us in these decisions. We have great family who love us dearly, and friends to talk with about these things, and people praying for us, we just have to press on.

• My insurance sucks - Yup, it sure does. But, Praise God that we have the little bit that we do. (Side note to anyone our age who thinks they can go a little time without insurance (like we both thought we could)- this is a perfect example of why that idea is a bad one - things can change sooo quickly).

• It is such a bummer that Mark does not have a full time job - But then I actually think of him being gone all day during this, and not being so available after surgery, and I literally cannot imagine it. I am so thankful that he has not been working full time and has been able to help me, and be there for me all the time. Mark is still looking very hard, and we have seen over and over that God will provide.

• This is really scary - This is scary, yep. I am scared of what God is doing with our life, and feel so fearful sometimes. I am scared I wont do well when I go back to school, that they will find something more with testing, that we wont go back to our "normal" life. Then I am reminded what God says in Isaiah 41:10 - "Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand". Perfect.

Anyway, that turned into a much longer post than I thought originally. But if you are still reading, thanks and we are so appreciative of everyones prayers and encouragement. The tentative plan is that I am going to start intense testing and get treatment at University of Michigan starting Monday Aug 23rd, and that will last all week. We are still having a consultation with the people in Battle Creek, but with UofM being the best in the US in thyroid cancer, and it being closer to Detroit, its what we are doing now. Mark promised to update today or tomorrow, about the more fun aspects of life :).

This is an oldie but a goodie (this is us in Holland taken on a self timer sitting on a log)

Love,
Brittany