Fact: It’s hard to explain the world to a three year
old. Anyone who has been around a young
child for any length of time knows the dreaded question that always seems to
come at the most inopportune time: “why?”
Why do I have to eat my vegetables?
Why can’t I touch my poop?
Why can’t I run around here?
Why do I have to wear a coat?
Why don’t I live with my mom?
Parenting is often messy, hard work. Actually, it pretty much always is. And that is when everything is “the way it
should be.” The way that God intended
our families to work. Two parent
household. Healthy Marriage. Healthy balance of work and home life. Family that rallies around you. A church that rallies around you. Christ is the center of the home.
But what about when it isn’t the way it should be?
Divorce happens.
Selfishness happens. Things
constantly draw us away from our priorities.
We don’t let the church help. We
don’t let God help.
Here is the story of our morning:
It’s Thursday, that means everyone gets up early, even though
the night was cut short by school assignments and even worse- a normally
sleepless child who is sick- aka: sleeps even less. But the funny thing about employment is that
you still have a start time that unwavers.
Brittany needs to be in Portage, Mark needs to be at the middle school,
D needs to be to daycare in Kalamazoo, and Giddy needs to be with Grammy.
So we start our early morning shuffle. Nothing out of the ordinary. Until D wakes up. From the moment he opens his eyes in the
morning, to the moment he shuts them at night, everything is a mountain to die
on. I’m not talking about normal three
year old, everything is a battle, type things.
I’m talking about all out, no holds barred, tantrums because I don’t
want to wear a sweatshirt, type things.
I’m going to lay here screaming, you can’t make me move type
things. I wanted to walk down the stairs
by myself, even though I was laying on the floor screaming and crying, saying
I’m not going anywhere type things. Shoes. Coat.
Animal crackers. Chocolate
milk. Hold me. Put me down.
Tantrums.
Going to be late for work.
Deep breath. Deep breath. Deep
breath. Pray for patience.
Finally, the clouds are beginning to break, the storm is
quieting down. Now, the talk. In a calm voice. Hey Buddy, what going on? You know we don’t act like this in our
home. Where’s our happy little D? “Grunt, sniffle.” Extra big pout. You know that Brittany and I love you lots
and lots and lots, and nothing will ever change that, and we want to keep you
safe and protect you, but we can’t do that if we don’t know what’s going
on. What’s going on little Buddy? Sobbing resumes, tears beginning to flow
again, D cries out,
“I miss my mommy!”
All words vanish.
What do you say? Do
you share the unfiltered truth about why he lives with Mark and Brittany and
not mom and dad? Do you attempt to
explain the complexities of the foster system, and all the legal processes and
protocols? Do you make up a story that
shields him from the truth?
Or do you just say “I know.”
That’s what I did.
And wrapped that boy in the tightest hug I could muster. “D, look at my eyes. I know.
I’m sorry. I know. Do you know what else I know? I love you more than anything. Brittany loves you more than anything. We would move mountains for you. We will protect you as best we can. We love you lots and lots and lots.”
Sadly, this is our daily routine. Doing our best to unconditionally love a
sweet, confused little boy, who is trying to figure out a world that he should
never have to figure out. We don’t know
what the future has in store for D. We
jealously hope it’s with us. The one
thing we do know: it’s in God’s hands.
We have no control over the foster system, the courts, or his
parents. The only thing we have control
over is that we will continue to weather this storm, as long as God will have
us in it. We will trust God, and cling
to the mercies that he gives us.
Why?
Because we serve a God that can calm the storm with just his
voice.
He
got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the
wind died down and it was completely calm. He
said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even
the wind and the waves obey him!”
Mark 4:39-41
Grace and Peace-
-Mark
