Our first day with our first foster kiddo

So we got the call about little D needing a home on Wednesday, made the decision that night, and he got dropped off on Friday morning. Thursday night I figured I better get some groceries, I hear kids like to eat. So I spent over an hour wandering around Meijer, looking at food thinking “I have no idea what this kid will like?”, “what do two year olds even eat?” It was so strange, knowing that a boy was coming to live with us and knowing nothing about him. 

Mark and I were so nervous waiting for D and the social worker, we sat staring out the window thinking how everything was about to change. Well they pull up and he is in a pink car seat, fairly dirty and reeks of smoke – but is literally the cutest thing I have ever seen.  He has a full head of curly black hair, and the deepest brown eyes ever, and the sweetest toothy smile.  He has a laundry basket full of belongings and clothes that were dirty and smelly, and a sippy cup with rotten milk. He came right to us and let us carry him inside. He sat and colored while we signed the papers, saying that we were responsible for him.  Our social worker did not know much about him at all, no ideal any medical conditions, allergies, who is doctor was, even how to spell his name.

He then introduced us to his fits, when he was asked to not color on the table, complete with arching the back, banging his feet on the floor, etc. Oh yeah, and he does not talk, so that almost makes things difficult with understanding what is wrong. We were told that he did not know any words. The social worker then left, and we were alone with him. It was honestly so weird. We played with him for a while at the table, and fed him lunch.  I started going through his clothes, many which were sizes too big or small, and summer outfits, all which desperately needed washing.

Then about at 3 o’oclock I thought “what are we going to do with him on Monday?”, you know when we are both are at work? We talked to the social worker, and she suggested the CDC, and after some research the closest placeis Borgess, which would work out fairly well. I called them and talked to the director, who asked us to come in and discuss options. We got a few days covered for the next week,  which would really help us. We filled out his paper work the best we could, and she was very understanding and compassionate to our situation.

Both my sisters happen to be coming home for the weekend, so they got to quickly meet him. It was great, and he loved them, but I can see what all the books and blogs about traumatized kids and attachment problems say about keeping the kids worlds small. Each time someone would leave he would have a huuuge meltdown.

We figured bedtime would be difficult, as we did not know what his previous sleeping situation had been, did he use a crib, have lights on or off, what time, bottle? We were clueless. We knew we had to get him into a good sleeping routine as quickly as possible – with a newborn coming and all. He finally went to sleep – but it took hours. HOURS. But I mean, the poor kid didn’t know us at all, have a clue where he was, we were probably doing his bedtime all wrong . We eventually got the precious little guy to bed.

And that was our first day with little D.

 We were totally in love, excited and nervous for this adventure, and went to bed knowing that God had shown up, and would continue to everyday with new mercies each morning. 

This is the verse that has been the verse we have clung to with D

Love,
Brittany

Giddy takes on UofM

(This was suppose to post last night, but apparently did not - we went to UofM today for some appointments - will update later about that!)

Well we got to U of M Thursday early evening and from the moment we pulled in to Motts Children hospital we were impressed. And mind you, all this is from two people who despise the University of Michigan, so we are not easily impressed. But, this was impressive! They had complementary valet parking, which was so awesome with a baby and all our bags. We got in, they triaged us within a minute, we did not even go to a waiting room or anything, and were in an ER room in 10 minutes. While we were getting triaged they had Giddy’s diaper off (which anyone with boys is cringing) and of course he peed all over the room. How does such a little thing shoot pee so far? Who knows. 

We got into an ER room, and quickly (like within 10 minutes) saw the attending ER doc. He came and evaluated Giddy, and then consulted ENT and plastic surgery. Both of these specialists sent people who came and evaluated him within a couple hours. They all took pictures and videos of him breathing and went to discuss a plan. The plastics resident came back and cleaned out quite a bit of debris from his nose and it really improved his breathing (pulse ox went from low 90s to high 90s), and he seemed much more relaxed. We then found out they were going to admit us for at least one night and day.

Our room was on the 11^th floor and was absolutely amazing. It was very impressive. Mark and I joked that it was much nicer than any hotel we would stay at. We got a tour of the floor and got admitted by the pediatrician. They were so nice to get me a hospital bed and Giddy a basinet, so that I would not have to sleep on a pull out – which was amazing having just had a c-section a week ago. It made a HUGE difference.

The steady stream of doctors started early the next morning. Really early. The highlights (and main doctors that will be following him) were visits by the ENT and plastic surgeon and their teams. The plastic surgeon attending who will be following him was amazing. He was so personable, understanding, and seems to have a really wonderful reputation for being one of the best. He spent quite a bit of time with us, took more pictures of his nose with a nicer camera, and explained the plan. So far, the plan from their perspective is to wait patiently. He explained he has to restrain himself from taking him to surgery to get some of the necrotic tissue off, because in someone this young, he will end up taking off tissue that looks bad, but still might rebound. He said we will wait to see how his body handles the dead tissue, and will hopefully get rid of it after a few weeks (like a scab). We also discussed putting stents in his nostrils to keep them open to help breathing, which he debates doing, but again wants to hold off to not traumatize tissue any further.  He said that he would “know this kid his whole childhood” and would likely need to have surgeries down the line for cosmetic purposes and possibly for function (his nose might not grow well). He was very reassuring that he could handle this case and made us feel much better.  Our goals from him were to keep the nose from getting infected, keep breathing, and keep patiently waiting.

ENT sent several people in, and ended up doing a scope, where they looked inside his nose up past the part you can see with your naked eye to evaluate the health of the airway. They were hopeful that there was some good tissue up there. They also planned to come back with more tools and people and be a bit more aggressive in the debridement of his nostrils – aka getting rid of the dead tissue. It was so traumatic to watch, they had suction and many instruments and people watching, and bleeding and lots of screaming from Gideon. It was heart wrenching. But it really did open things up, so hopefully we could limp along through the weekend until we saw them again in a couple days to do it again – ugh.

The attending pediatrician also came in and said that he had spent all morning researching and could not find anything like this in the journals and medical literature, and asked us to sign some papers to publish it. We were okay with that, actually the PA in me loved the idea of by boy getting published, but the mom in me was a bit nervous and freaked out that they have never seen anything like this. They said they see traumatic births all the time, and know in theory that the skin can get necrotic from pressure from birth, but have never actually seen it. So we signed the papers, they took MORE pictures and hopefully we can provide some help for other families somewhere out there.

Jenna and Jake (my sister and her boyfriend) came by after work and got to see Giddy and spend time with us, and eat dinner at the hospital, which was so much fun!  Then we had a little photoshoot in the amazing lobby – which is where the pictures below came from. We then headed home, and over the whole two hour trip home he did not make a peep – praise Jesus! 

We are so thankful for a medical institution so close (relatively) and doctors who care and are at the top of their fields taking care of our boy. We feel so cared for and loved by our friends and family, which has made this difficult situation much easier. We also have a good God that gives a peace that surpasses understanding, which we have a whole new understanding of. 

A couple of the ENTs doing the first scope on his little nose - so hard to watch!

With all this UofM bragging I am doing, you may need to be reminded where our true allegiance is

Giddy's door they decorated at Motts, and some cute pictures just hanging out in his adorable hospital gown.

Family photo in our MSU gear in front of the beautiful Christmas tree. 

My awesome sister Nenna and itty bitty Giddy

Love, 

Brittany

Gideon update – part 1

I’m going to take a quick break from the timeline of our life on this blog and give a quick update on our sweet little Giddy.

Gideon Uriah was born on Thanksgiving with the most adorable little face, but unfortunately there was a lot of bruising and swelling.  I had been induced on Monday evening, and did not deliver until a C-section on Thursday morning, after no progression of labor and some distress in him. Talk about a long and stressful few days! The doctors thought that the damage to his face was from how he was positioned against my cervix and that it would heal in a few days. Lots of it did improve, swelling and redness went down. Then his nose appeared to have a scab on it, which we thought would just fall off. The pediatricians in the hospital were great, and we put antibiotic ointment on it and continued to watch it. We were discharged Sunday.

Tuesday we went to the pediatrician, and the “scab” was found to be necrotic (dead) tissue, and was beginning to block his little nostril from breathing (side note that is very important – babies don’t breathe out of their mouths, so it is very important that their nose functions well). The pediatrician called an ENT (ear nose throat doctor), and decided we need to see him the next morning, as well as a plastic surgeon. Gideon really was itty bitty Giddy now, as he had lost some weight (due to difficulties nursing with the nose), and was now in the 2% for weight, and 6% for height. So we were on the very exhausting plan of nursing every two hours around the clock. 

Wednesday we went to the ENT bright and early, and he looked at his nose for a couple seconds and quickly said we have to go to UofM to see their pediatric plastic surgery department, and ENT. He said he would call personally and get an appointment as soon as possible – which was Tuesday of the next week.

Thursday we had to go back to the pediatrician for a weight check and nose check. The necrotic tissue was getting worse, and more skin seemed to be dying. She watched him breathe and saw how much he was struggling, and said she was going to call UofM to see what they think we should do. They told us to come to Motts Children’s Hospital ER. They said they could evaluate us and do some temporary treatment for his nose, or admit us to the hospital if that was needed. So we went home, packed some bags, made plans for my awesome Mom to pick up D from daycare and took off on a 2 hour drive to the ER to get our baby some help.

It seemed like every time we went to a doctor’s appointment the news got worse for little Gideon, and the poor little guy was one week old!  We went to UofM and did end up getting admitted, but after seeing about 80 doctors there, we feel very hopeful. I will post more about our trip there next.

Here is the progression of his little nose over the first week. 

So his nose is a little banged up, but can we not agree that he is the most precious, beautiful little guy you have ever seen?

Love,
Brittany

God will show up

Here we go again!

I want to start blogging again – so here goes nothing. Here are the few reasons I am re-starting:

1.       It’s easy to keep people who want to be updated in the loop with the comings and goings and craziness of our lives.

2.       Life is a whirlwind and sometimes hard to see how God is moving, but looking back on blogs is such a testimony to God’s goodness in our lives.

3.       I love reading Mark’s posts, they legitimately crack me up.

4.       I love reading other peoples blogs.

5.       Hopefully it can be a little encouragement to people at times – if for nothing else to look at our life and think “well at least our life is not that crazy!”

So where to start? Let’s start three weeks ago today, with a phone call. We got a call from our social worker about a little boy who needed some placement for foster care, and possible adoption.  We had been interested in adopting for years, and more recently fostering. We got our home study done this fall, and had gotten several calls about fostering and adoption situations that we turned down after prayer and thought. We had gotten licensed for age 4 and under, but really wanted small children (like 2 and under).  

Anyway, we got a call about a boy who came up and was in emergency placement and really needed help. They said that he just turned two, the reason for his removal from the home, and that they needed to know by the end of the day (actually they asked to know by lunch, but that was a little quick -even for us). So after getting this call at work between patients, I called Mark at his work and gave him the scoop. We didn’t know a name, didn’t have a picture, didn’t know the situation, didn’t know what he was like, didn’t know what challenges he might be facing, didn’t know anything really.  We both prayed about it all day, Mark came to my work in the afternoon, after I was done with patients and we sat in my office and begged God for wisdom through prayer. For some reason this situation felt more right than any others. Ideally we would pray, fast, talk to friends and mentors, families to make a decision like this, but there was really no time. We felt a peace that surpassed understanding. We were also scared.

We called the social worked and said yes.  She told us his name, and said they would drop him off Thursday night or Friday morning after some paperwork got finished up. She had no idea what he owned, what we needed, or what this child was like. And then we went to birthing class.

Oh yeah, we were 37 weeks pregnant at the time. And just accepted our first foster kid. And he is two years old.

“What were you guys thinking?” you may ask. What we were thinking is this… that God would show up. That God loves children, and orphans, and us, and that he would not leave us or abandon us during this step of faith. We believed that God would show up with grace forthe situation, and wisdom in how to handle this precious little boy, and sleep and rest for us, and patience for this traumatized two year old and ultimately that He will be there for us, that we just need to trust Him.  

So that is how we got our sweet little D. We absolutely adore him, and are so glad he gets to be a part of our family for how ever short or long that God has him here. And believe me, God has shown up. 

Here are his sweet hands. We cannot show his face or tell much about his story at this time,
but trust us - he is awesome.

Love, 

Brittany